


lay here for years or for hours, so long we become the flowers

by lunalou



Series: we are young and wild and free [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: 5 times + 1, Angst, Background Relationships, Elemental Magic, Everyone Needs A Hug, Friendship, Gavin Free-centric, Gavin Needs a Hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Minecraft, Sick Fic, Sky Factory AU, Sort Of, because skyfactory had that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalou/pseuds/lunalou
Summary: “Elemental magic.” Ryan hurries to say. “Aristotelian elements being controlled by magic, usually when strong emotions are felt.”“What?” Gavin demands.(or, five times Gavin's magic affects the weather)





	lay here for years or for hours, so long we become the flowers

**Author's Note:**

> after months of this sitting in my google docs i figured why not finish it off
> 
> you don't need to read head over heels to understand this fic, it's just a companion piece for the same universe where solar queen gavin's mood effects the weather. a sort of prequel

**i. air**

The first instance of Gavin’s connection with the elements was ignored, pushed aside by the more pressing matter of finding a way down underneath their base to retrieve their lost belongings.

They all have stuff down there, bags being dropped in shock or people losing their grip on an item.

Gavin couldn't believe his eyes when he'd first landed here with five other people, all of them balancing on the branches of a singular tree, gasping and shaking as the magic of the world absorbed and settled into them.

At first none of them had known how to navigate the tree safely, how to make a platform without killing them all in the process, and there'd been a power struggle between the eldest on who should take charge. Gavin and the other youngest, two other men named Michael and Jeremy, had been left to their own devices. All three of them had ended up balancing on the same branch, legs swinging over the endless night sky below them, and whispering jokes to one another, the feeling of finally being somewhere making them giddy.

It's been a few weeks since that, though, and they've developed a way of getting around, a quaint system with wood and dirt production being their focus. It’s hard trying to settle in to their new surroundings, their new lives, when there’s arguably one too many different personalities here for them to do it easily.

That’s what Geoff says, anyway. Gavin thinks that they’ll all come to get along in no time.

* * *

Ryan had decided to trust Gavin enough to hand him all their wood when the youngers whining and disruption had balanced on the edge of him becoming hazardous to their barely stable world.

“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Jack asked warily, a hard edge to his voice. “He literally destroyed half the place only yesterday.”

Gavin hadn't meant to do that. He had been fiddling with the crook Jeremy had given him and may of _accidentally_ put too much magic behind a swing which may have made him lose his balance and strike the planks instead of the tree, leaving everybody shouting and clinging onto whatever they could so that they didn't fall into the bottomless void below them.

“He'll be fine,” Ryan said, waving a hand as if to physically brush away Jack's concern. “He knows what to do, don't you Gav?”

Gavin loved Ryan. For reasons unknown to him, the older man had taken Gavin under his wing straight away and didn't seem to mind his incessant rambling or stupid mistakes. Nor did he seem to mind Gavin's clinginess or his ability to somehow wind the others up without trying, laughing it all off and engaging him in stupid debates about physics and magic.

Gavin appreciated it more then he'd ever bring himself to admit. After being alone for so long it was almost overwhelming to be surrounded by five other people, to wake up to other voices ringing in his ears and learn new personalities. Gavin’s been on a constant high since he'd landed here, feeling stupidly happily and very relieved to finally be somewhere, to finally be doing something.

“Of course I know what I'm doing.” Gavin says, giving Jack and Ryan a silly grin. He shifts the bag full of wood on his back and nods his head over to the edge of the base. “I'm going to make the platform bigger.”

Ryan smiles back at him, proud and fond, whilst Jack lets out a small scoff.

“Just don't destroy anything.” He warns, eyes flickering to the locked chest where Gavin's crook has been confined to.

“Jack have at least a little faith in me, Jack. I'm not an idiot.” Jack looked like he wanted to argue that point, but Gavin didn't care much. He's got more than enough time to earn everyone's trust and show them all that he’s not useless.

“Good luck Gav.” Ryan says before dragging Jack away to where Geoff’s planting another sapling.

Jack throws a stern look over his shoulder at Gavin, eyes daring him to mess it up, and Gavin gives a small solute in return.

He'll prove that he can be useful.

* * *

The sun was setting by the time Gavin decided to take a break, fingers tingling from the magic and sweat beading on his forehead.

Learning just how much power to put behind a spell was still something they were all adjusting to, but Gavin reckons he's got the recipe just about right for building a stable floor.

Looking back, he can see that he's doubled their platform size and that there's at least twenty steps between him and where he started, the wood stretching out towards the earth and away from their original tree.

Jack catches his eye from where he's bent over the campfire and gives him a small smile, nodding his head in approval, and it makes Gavin buzz in delight.

Jack, Gavin has found, is the hardest to win approval from. He's all work before play, wanting them to focus and have the best they can make, and getting his approval feels like an achievement. It's definitely a step in the right direction of earning his trust, of proving himself.

From the looks of it dinner won't be ready for a while yet, Geoff and Ryan bickering over an empty pot, and he decides to continue working a small wall, high enough that nobody can fall off the edge.

“Wow Gav,” Michael says from besides him. “Never thought I'd see the day Jack would give you a smile.”

Gavin beams at him. “I know. I thought he'd be mad at me forever because of yesterday.”

“Same here.” Jeremy snorts, leaning his hammer against the side of the wall and settling in to watch Gavin work. “Not sure how you managed it.”

“It's because I'm his favourite.” Gavin says in a serious voice.

Jeremy shakes his head instantly. “That's not true.”

“Jeremy, you're just jealous Jeremy. You wish you had Jack's approval like I have.” Gavin says snootily. Jeremy rolls his eyes at him and gestures to the gap in the wood.

“He's not gonna approve of a fucking massive hole in the wall, dingus.”

“It's not a hole, it's a window.” Gavin defends, digging into the bag of wood to grab another piece. He seals the block above the gap to create a door shaped hole. “It'll give the room a natural ambience that Jack will appreciate.”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Michael demands with a laugh. “Your shitty window isn't going to give any _natural ambience_ when there's literally no roof giving it off constantly.”

Gavin stares up into the stars and can feel his ears begin to burn. “Oh.”

Michael cackles again and Jeremy let's out a snort, so Gavin straightens his back and tries to defend himself. “Jack will love it all the same. He can watch the sunrise from the window.”

“You're an idiot.” Jeremy laughs. He gives Gavin a playful push, making him stumble, which normally wouldn't cause any harm. At this point it’s almost expected for someone to push Gavin playfully, nobody thinking twice of it, but normally there isn't a bag of wood next to his feet nor a massive fucking hole in the wall.

He falling before he knows it, kicking the bag as he trips over it and flailing his hands, trying to grab hold of something, anything. He finds himself grasping nothing but air and staring down into the abyss below him as all their bloody wood is falls downwards, twisting out of sight, and _Jesus Christ Gavin is going to die, he's going to fall forever and -_

A hand grasps his wrist and yanks him back roughly and he finds himself falling backwards instead of forwards, landing heavily on someone else instead of falling into nothing.

“Fucking Christ,” Michael whispers, voice close to his ear. Gavin recognises the body as his then and sinks into it greedily, Michael's arms wrapped tightly around him.

“What the fuck Jeremy?” Michael demands.

Gavin agrees wholeheartedly. What the fuck Jeremy.

“Oh my god,” Jeremy's voice is an octave higher than normal. “I didn't think you'd fall. Gav I'm so sorry, shit, are you okay?”

Gavin is okay. The shock of nearly falling is fading fast and he realises that yes, he himself is perfectly fine but, “The wood.” he moans into Michael’s arm. “We've lost all the wood.”

Gavin scrambles off Michael who lets out a grunt when he's elbowed in the gut. Michael quickly reaches out in panic to grab a fistful of Gavin’s shirt when he leans over the edge of the base again. “Fucking Christ Gav be careful.”

“The wood.” Gavin repeats, heart starting to beat faster in panic.

“What?” Jack's voice comes from behind him. Gavin had wanted to prove to Jack that he could trust him, had wanted to show he wasn't as useless as he might seem, and his hands shake with nerves when realises he's done nothing more than prove that he's the clumsy idiot they thought he was.

That was weeks’ worth of their hard work gone.

“Jeremy.” Gavin mutters, feeling anger start to sink in. This wasn't Gavin's fault. He didn't trip, he was pushed.

“Jeremy.” he snaps louder, pushing away from the edge and out of Michaels grasp. He twists to face where Jeremy is standing to the side looking regretful. “You've lost all the blooming wood, Jeremy.”

A breeze picks up from nowhere, ruffling Gavin's hair and making goose bumps rise on his bare arms.

“Gavin I'm sorry.” Jeremy repeats.

“It can't all be gone, surely.” Geoff tries to reason. All the others have crowded round them, and Gavin feels the anger burning like static on his skin because yes, all the wood is gone.

“Jeremy,” he repeats, outraged. “I can't believe you did that.”

Jeremy looks slightly panicked now, taking a step back, and Gavin can feel the others looking at him uneasily.

The wind grows stronger and he feels the unnatural urge to snarl, feels static dancing across his skin and riling him up even more, fuelling his emotions and driving them further into his mind.

“I can see the wood.” Ryan’s voice interrupts Gavin from where he's trying to burn Jeremy alive with his glare.

Gavin drags his eyes away to stare at where Ryan's standing by the window. “Christ, I can see so much crap. There's some sort of barrier down there.”

“What?” Gavin demands, feet light as he rushes towards the others side. They all crowd round the window, six bodies pressing too close to the edge, and stare down at where Ryan's sent a floating ball of light.

In the far distance is the bag of wood, some of the chunks scattered about but all still there, and seemingly floating mid-air.

There's also a bunch of other stuff laying around, books and materials and things they'd written off as lost and Gavin blinks in shock.

“Oh, thank god.” Jeremy let's out laugh and Gavin suddenly finds himself pulled away from the edge and into a small hug. “You stay right here Gav,” Jeremy pulls back to give him an eager relieved grin. “I'll grab you the wood.”

Jeremy then makes to jump out of the window but is stopped hastily by Geoff. “Jesus Christ, kid. Don't jump down there.” he snaps.

“Why?” Jeremy asks. “I'll be fine. Probably.”

“The impact would probably kill you.” Ryan tells him, little ball of light now floating back up into his hand.

Jack blanches at this, shooing them all away from the edge as he quickly pulls some dirt out of his pocket, blowing on it so that it forms into blocks and covers up the hole. “Right.” he says in a strained voice. “No more windows, okay? And no more jumping or falling. Especially no messing around - permanently.”

He gives Gavin a hard look as if he's the cause of this mess, which he isn't.

Well. Maybe a bit.

The wind dies down slowly around them, not that any of them notice, and Gavin feels the static on his skin disappear.

He feels bad suddenly, guilty for snapping at Jeremy and even guiltier about losing the wood, about leaving a stupid sized hole in the wall, and slinks over to Jeremy's side to nudge their shoulders together.

Jeremy nudges back and keeps their arms pressed together.

“We have enough string to make some sort of rope.” Michael suggests ,and Gavin can feel the way Jeremy physically brightens at the idea.

“Rope!” he cries excitedly. “We can abseil down to the stuff, right Ryan?”

“It's a reasonable idea.” Ryan agrees, setting off towards the chests with Jeremy and Michael at his heels. They're all chatting animatedly, and part of Gavin feels like he should follow them but the bigger part of him is just tired, something more bone crushing then he's felt in a long time.

“Alright Gav?” Geoff asks in a concerned tone. The older man throws an arm around Gavin's shoulders and tugs him into his side.

“Fine.” Gavin murmurs, sinking into the embrace. “Just tired.”

* * *

**ii. fire**

At first Gavin takes on solar creation just because it's something to do.

He’s bored and tired of the repetitiveness that growing saplings brings him and so when he reads about solar power he’s intrigued, curious to how the energy of the sun can be captured for their own use.

He soon realises that the job is perfect for him. The work needs careful precision, concentration and patience, and his mix of magic and science knowledge helps him fly through the stages of creating the solar panels. It makes Gavin feel important to be able to create a clean source of power for their world.

Everybody leaves him to get on with it, trusting him not to break anything important, and it's the first real project he's in charge of.

There's something soothing about welding together metal and mirrors, something calming about the way magic flows from his fingers and into his work, and when he finishes his first set of solar panels everybody gives him proud looks and pats on the back.

Jack even pulls him in for a rare hug, ruffling his hair and praising him for making something useful.

The sun always seems to shine for his panels. Even when the weather is overcast, beams of light will peak through the clouds and give energy to his creations.

“It’s a bit weird.” Jeremy says one day, frowning up at the gloomy sky and then looking down to where Gavin and his panels are bathed in a circle light. “Don’t you think that this is weird, Ryan?”

Ryan looks up from where he’s working on something big and metal looking. Gavin hates the thing already, especially with the long staring contests him and Ryan keep getting into lately. Nobody has any clue what he’s building, Ryan keeping his lips tightly sealed on the subject, but it feels like a competition somehow, so Gavin’s taken to putting extra effort into his solar upgrades.

“Do you mean Gavin?” Ryan says with a teasing grin. “Because yeah, I think he’s pretty weird.”

“I’m not weird.” Gavin denies instantly. “You’re the weird one, especially with your mystery machine.”

Jeremy interrupts Ryan before he can open his mouth to reply. “No, not Gavin. The weather.”

Gavin looks up at the sky when the other two do, squinting at the sun.

From Gavin’s position the weathers lovely. The sun is shining, and his skin is buzzing slightly from the heat of it.

He then looks slightly to the left at the sky above Jeremy and Ryan.

It is a bit weird, Gavin supposes.

The clouds are a dark grey, stormy looking and circling menacingly.

When he looks back down Ryan has stood up and is staring from the sky to Gavin in alarm.

“What are you doing?” He demands, striding over until he’s in the sunlight.

“What?” Gavin squawks, scrambling upright so Ryan isn’t looming over him. “I’m not doing anything.”

Ryan frowns at him, mouth setting in a hard line. “Really?” he asks sceptically. “The sun is just following you around for no reason?”

“I’m not doing anything.” Gavin repeats, narrowing his eyes at Ryan.

Gavin can’t help the weather, nobody can.

“I don’t believe you.” Ryan says coolly.

“Well you can shove your suspicions up your arse, Ryan, because I haven’t done anything. You’re just looking for an excuse to fight with me.”

“What?” Ryan’s the one sounding incredulous now. “How am I looking to fight you?”

“You and you’re stupid machine.” Gavin snaps, stomping his foot and pointing an accusing finger at the looming metal structure behind them. “You won’t tell anyone what it is but I _know_ it’s got something to do with me.”

Gavin’s glad he’s mentioned it because he can see the guilt flash across Ryan’s face before it’s quickly replaced by a hard determinedness, proving to him that the machine is nothing good.

“It’s got nothing to do with you.” Ryan snaps back. “Don’t be so self-centred.”

“Ryan, it does too have something to do with me Ryan. It’s been written all over your face for the past week.” Gavin feels frustration curling in his stomach. They’ve gravitated closer during their bickering, Ryan’s face now close enough that he can feel the others hot breaths on his face, noses almost brushing.

“Guys, c’mon.” Jeremy places a warm hand on Gavin’s arm and tugs him back a step. “There’s no need to fight. Besides, the sun's gone now, forget that I mentioned anything.”

Rain starts to pour from the sky at those words, making Gavin flinch, the drops cold and jarring on his sun warmed skin. He hadn’t noticed the sun disappearing behind the dark clouds and a part of him wants to look up at the sky, wants to see how the circle of light he’d been bathed in has turned into rain, but he can’t stop glaring at Ryan, not wanting to be the first to back down. Ryan’s glaring straight back at him, lips thin and eyebrows furrowed in suspicion.

“I’m keeping an eye on you, Free.” Ryan snipes before spinning around and storming off back to his metal monstrosity.

“Well I’m keeping a bigger eye on you, Haywood. You and your horrid machine.” Gavin shouts at his back. Ryan flips him off and Gavin bristles, wanting to go after him.

“Leave it Gav.” Jeremy steps in front of him. “Come help me and Geoff build a roof over the crucibles before they all fill up with rain again, yeah?”

He doesn’t wait for Gavin to reply before dragging him off with the hand still on his arm.

* * *

Gavin goes back to working on his solar panel upgrades the next morning, giving Ryan a polite nod when he walks past him.

The older man had given him a golden apple last night after dinner in apology. A childish part of Gavin had wanted to throw it at one of Ryan’s big metal blocks, but he had shoved the urge away and jumped onto Ryan’s back instead, taking a bite from the gold treat.

The grounds still a bit damp from the rain but Gavin folds down onto his knees anyway, not minding the way the water soaks into his trousers and makes them damp, before he picks up where he left off.

His magic buzzes across his skin and flows into the ingots in his hands, leaving them shimmery and palpable as he melds them around his mirrors, getting lost in the repetitive action.

After yesterday's argument Gavin keeps an eye on the weather and notices that, after twenty minutes or so of him working, the sun seems to shine brighter and break through the light scattering of clouds down to where he sits.

It might be a bit weird but Gavin’s sure it’s just an odd coincidence.

* * *

The sun seems to follow him around when he works on his solar panels, hot and bright and lighting everything up. It even follows him for a while after he puts them down, sunlight streaming across the platform as he walks over to Michael.

Gavin’s been very aware of it ever since Jeremy pointed it out and it worries him slightly.

He doesn’t want to bring it up to anyone, though, anxiety bubbling across his skin at the thought. He doesn’t want to hear if there’s something wrong with him, doesn’t want to draw in attention over something he’s so unsure about.

The most annoying part about it all is that Ryan’s stopped giving him suspicious looks and has instead settled into staring at Gavin in wonder. The wonder fades after a day or two, though, and he seems to become amused at the sun that lights Gavin up.

Gavin has no idea what Ryan thinks he’s figured out, but his pride won’t let him ask.

* * *

**iii. snow**

Gavin knows something’s up with his magic. He'll feel it scutter across his skin at random intervals, sometimes the sensation barely there and other times the feeling leaving him gasping, tired and shaky.

He's not _actually_ doing any magic though, is the thing.

The feeling will take him by surprise and no matter how hard he searches he can never tell what his magic is doing, can never find the outcome of it. Flowers aren’t blooming under his feet and thing’s aren’t changing colours around him and it leaves him stumped to what’s happening.

He's kept a close eye on the others to see if their magic is playing up in any way but all he's seen is Michael get slowly more agitated with his staring.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” the other man says snarkily when he catches Gavin watching him not so subtly from behind a tree.

“I'd love a picture of you Michael. I'd keep it next to my bedside and kiss it every night when you're sent off to war.” Gavin stops his hiding and slinks over to Michael's side.

“You're fucking weird.” Michael informs him in a fond tone. “What you staring at me for, boi?”

Gavin shrugs, unsure on whether he should tell Michael about his magic, and watches as the other man messes around with a pool of mana. “Just observing.”

“Yeah? You've been observing me a lot lately, and everyone else.” Michael says in a light tone.

“I like to observe.” Gavin defends, no real heat behind his argument.

Michael hums in reply, keeping his attention on the pool.

Gavin had temporarily given up on his solar panels to test whether the sun would leave him alone, which it had. He hadn’t wanted to go back to working on them until he’d figured out why the sun was following him around in the first place, and that was when he noticed his magic was fluctuating.

He’s been slowly driving himself crazy with worry about it since.

“Michael,” he starts hesitatingly. “Have you noticed anything weird about being here?”

“Huh?” Michael lowers his wand to stare at Gavin in confusion. “Weird? Weird how?”

“Weird like. Just weird.” Gavin stutters, not knowing how to explain himself properly. How do you begin to explain weird like _the sun following you around_ and _your magic running with no affect_ and _feeling like you’re growing crazy because of it._

“You’re weird.” Michael supplies unhelpfully. “Have you just been looking into a mirror?”

“Michael,” Gavin whines. “That’s mean, Michael.”

Michael gives him a small smile. “Nah, I haven’t noticed anything weird Gav. Why?”

Gavin shrugs again, heart sinking.

What was wrong with him? Why was nobody else having any issues with their magic?

“No reason.” Gavin mutters. He turns to leave but is caught off guard by a fluttering of magic across his whole body, hissing in a breath through his teeth and clenching his eyes shut.

The feeling only lasts for a few seconds before fading away into a light tingle.

When he opens his eyes he’s not sure what to expect but for some reason he’s terribly disappointed to see that nothing has changed.

“Gav?” Michael asks uneasily. “You alright?”

He stares at the concerned furrow of Michael’s brow, the downturn of his lips, and decides that he can’t admit to what’s happening. He doesn’t want to worry anyone else.

“I’m fine, boi. Just a bit cold.” Which was true. The warm day had suddenly turned dark, a biting wind nipping at Gavin’s bare arms.

“Yeah.” Michael’s expression smooths out, a teasing smile climbing back onto his face. “I suppose you would be, considering you’re nothing but skin and bones. Go help Geoff with the fire.”

* * *

The day only gets colder and by nightfall they’ve all shifted their bed rolls closer together to share heat.

They’ve been here months now and stupidly enough none of them have built any type of shelter for them to go into if the nights aren’t dry and warm. Gavin isn’t too bothered, enjoying the closeness, but Geoff and Michael had grumbled and complained for a solid hour about it.

They’ve quietened down now, though, slow snores and the heavy weight of sleep surrounding him.

Gavin can’t fall asleep. He’s not tired at all, his brain won’t stop running a mile a minute and playing out different scenarios to what could be wrong with him.

Even now, at the dead of night, he can feel faint sparks of magic spasm across his skin with no outward affect.

A cold breeze makes him shudder and curl up tighter on his bedroll.

After a few more minutes of lying there unable to sleep Gavin gives up and stands up, carefully stepping over Michael to go and find something to distract himself with.

He shuts the door to the farm quietly behind him and creeps along the skinny platform back to their main base. Every step away from the others seems to make him colder, breath appearing in front of him and floating off into the night sky, and he wraps Jeremy’s jacket tighter around himself.

When he gets to the centre of their base he pauses, unsure what to do with himself.

“Gav?” Jack's voice comes from behind him and Gavin jumps, twisting around guiltily to stare at him.

“Hi Jack.” he murmurs. The other man looks cold as well, Gavin thinks, with his arms crossed tightly and body hunched in on itself.

“Yeah, hi.” Jack says in a confused tone. “Why are you up?”

Gavin sucks in a breath and ponders what to say. “Couldn't sleep.” he says truthfully, making Jack frown and walk over to him.

“Why? What's up?” the older man’s face is gentle and concerned and Gavin finds himself hesitating for the second time today, unsure whether to tell the truth about his magic or lie about what has him worried.

He must hesitate for too long because Jack puts a hand on his arm, warm and light, and leads him over to a bench next to the firepit. He lights it with an absent flick of his wrist, heat and flames bursting from the charmed stones, and focuses his attention on Gavin, gaze sharp and observant.

“I'm fine.” Gavin says awkwardly. The heat from the flames is soothing against his wind bitten skin and he leans towards it to rub his hands together.

“Uh huh.” Jack mimics his actions, leaning forward and stretching his own hands towards the flames. “Sure you are.”

Their cold breath still appears in front of their faces, fogging and curling up into the sky, the chill of the night heavy around them.

He wants to tell Jack about what's happening to his magic, he wants to try his best to put it into words, but a big part of him is scared about how Jack and everyone will react to the news.

What if they're as scared as he is? What is nobody has an answer to what's happening? What if they _do_ have an answer?

What if it turns out that something is seriously wrong with him? What if they know what's happening and decide to ignore him, or worse, evict him from the world because it's _dangerous?_

Magic ripples across his skin just as the clouds above them break into snow.

“Christ.” Jack mutters, shifting closer to Gavin as the cold flakes start to rain down on them. “This weather is ridiculous.”

“Yeah.” Gavin says, eyes still focused on the fire. “It's rubbish.”

“We'll have to start shearing some more sheep if it doesn’t stop. Actually, it's probably best I just bite the bullet and be the one to build a shelter in case the snow decides to lay. Then I’ll shear the sheep. Lord knows we’re stupid enough to not have a house already.” Jack's leg brushes against Gavin’s. “We could get started now, if you wanted?”

“Now?” Gavin turns to look at him in confusion. Jack’s face is open and kind, skin pale in glow of the fire and smudges under his eyes. He looks tired, Gavin thinks. He must be tired, so why is he offering to - oh. Jack is offering to do this for Gavin’s sake.

It’s late and Jack is cold and tired after a long day of working and they’d both probably be better off going back to bed. Jack could’ve stayed in bed, even, but instead he'd followed Gavin out into the cold to see if he was okay and was now offering to start a new project in the middle of the night just to help distract Gavin from his own stupid thoughts.

“My magic.” Gavin blurts. “It's my magic.”

Jack blinks in surprise. He doesn't say anything though, waiting patiently for Gavin to continue.

“It's been, well, weird? Like, not normal, you know? It's just been bloody weird and dumb.” Gavin runs a frustrated hand through his hair, hating words and feelings more than ever. “Like it'll happen, right? I'll feel my magic do something, but nothing actually happens.”

Jack's expression twists but not in a bad way like Gavin expects. Jack looks more thoughtful if anything. “So, your magic isn’t working?”

“No. I mean yeah I guess, but also no. It's not off, it's working fine, except when it's not actually working?”

Jack seems to consider this for a while, face flickering orange in the reflection of the fire.

The silence makes Gavin uneasy and he shivers as the flurry of snow gets heavier, face starting to feel numb from the biting wind despite the fire in front of him.

“I don't think it's much too worry about.” Jack finally says. “I've heard a few stories of stuff like this before and the magic is always doing something. Maybe you just need to focus more on what happens, yeah?” he reaches out to rub Gavin’s arm, warm fingers making Gavin shiver pleasantly.

“I guess.” he mutters. He leans into Jack’s touch, seeking comfort. _If it was that simple,_ Gavin thinks, _then I would've figured it out by now._

“Let's go get started on a shelter.” Jack says when Gavin starts to shiver, pulling him up and shuffling them towards the storage crates. “You can let me know when you feel your magic doing nothing and I can help you look out for what it’s doing, yeah?”

* * *

“Fucking Christ it's cold as dicks out.” Geoff complains the next afternoon.

The snow had started to lay on the ground and was already a few inches deep, making their work more difficult.

There's no sun out to run his solar panels, the skies dark and cloudy, so a lot of their automated work needs to be done manually, their magic only being able to stretch so far. Gavin misses the days where the sun used to follow him around like a shadow but shakes it off.

“Geoff.” Jack snaps. “We’re all cold. Pull your weight otherwise this will take twice as long.”

Geoff sighs dramatically, breath puffing out in front of his face, and pulls himself away from the fire pit. Gavin watches him from where he’s crouched on the floor attempting to expand some of the frozen wooden chunks with his magic.

After speaking to Jack last night, a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The older man hadn’t flinched in shock or horror, he hadn’t called for help or whisked Gavin away to a decontamination area but had instead been calm about it.

They’d spoken about it as they worked, and Jack had soothed a lot of Gavin’s worries with his sensible logic.

Gavin was still worried when he felt the tingling sensation of his magic twisting across his skin this morning, but he was no longer scared about dropping dead from it, which was a relief.

He was trying to focus more on his surrounds when he felt it happen, but his attention was easily snatched away by how hard his teeth are chattering or by Michael’s stupid antics, the elder pestering him constantly in a dead set effort to _cheer him the fuck up_.

On top of all this Ryan had been frowning at him suspiciously all morning.

Jack had been the one to shake the others awake when the snow had started to stick to the ground, putting out the heated fires in the farm and forcing them to get up. Ryan, after registering the snow, had looked straight across the platforms to where Gavin was working, questioning eye’s meeting Gavin’s.

Gavin’s been avoiding the other man ever since, feeling uneasy about the intensity of his gaze.

“Hi Gavvers.” Geoff throws himself down next to where Gavin’s kneeling on the floor. “Need a hand?”

“I think this is a bit out of your skill set.” Gavin shoots back with half a smile, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

“Don’t be a brat.” Geoff scolds, reaching out to drag some blocks closer to him. “I’m older, wiser, and more powerful than you’ll ever be.” Gavin snorts at that but doesn’t argue back, instead focusing on forcing his magic to try and break through the frozen wood. Geoff watches him in amusement, drops of snow scattered about in his hair, “My point proven, you idiot.”

“What?” Gavin demands, giving up on his task and sitting back with a huff. “You think you can do a better job than me?”

“Always.” Geoff cracks his fingers and neck, gearing himself up, before sucking in a big breath and clicking his fingers to summon a single flame.

“What?” Gavin asks blankly. “We’re meant to be making them bigger, not setting them on fire.” He quickly moves his blocks away when Geoff makes the size of his flame grow.

“Ah, young one, it appears you’ve forgotten the basics of logic in the midst of your wizardry.” Geoff says in a husky old man voice. “May us older and wiser warlocks may shine light,” he places the flame down so that it hovers above the snowy floor. “On your situation.”

“Don’t try to speak in riddles.” Gavin complains, shoving Geoff in the shoulder and making him laugh.

The flame starts to melt the snow on the ground and Gavin pouts as he holds his numb fingers above it, Geoff’s snickers ringing in the air.

“What now?” Gavin asks. Geoff raises an eyebrow at him and gestures down to Gavin’s hands. It then clicks that Gavin, instead of trying to force his magic into expanding frozen blocks, could just defrost them by the fire like he’s doing with his hands.

“Oh.” He says dumbly.

“Idiot.” Geoff repeats, smiling fondly and reaching out to ruffle his hair.

After that they work in a companionable silence, the blocks being easy to expand now they’d started to defrost in the heat of the fire.

Gavin watches Geoff out the corner of his eye, tempted to bring up the subject of his fluctuating magic to the older man. After speaking to Jack about it he feels like he can broach the subject more easily, the words falling out his mouth without too much thought.

“Geoff.” Gavin starts, pausing when Geoff instantly gives him his full attention. “What do you know about our magic?”

“What do you mean?” Geoff asks him, a small frown appearing on his face.

“Well,” he mumbles, losing his confidence quickly. “Like, the magic we have - where does it come from? How does it work?”

“I’m not too sure.” Gavin tries not to feel too disappointed by his answer. “You’re probably better off asking Ryan.”

Gavin shakes his head instantly, little flakes of snow flying everywhere. He doesn’t want to speak to Ryan, not when he can _see_ the glances the other man keeps throwing at them, as if waiting for an opportunity to catch him alone.

Geoff frown grows but he chooses not to comment on Gavin’s not so subtle avoidance and instead says, “I know that it comes from the world we land in, or tree in our case. I’ve been to a few different places before here and each time has been different.”

“Different how?” Gavin asks. He’d only ever been to one other world and things there had been mostly the same, the only big differences being him landing on an island of sand with just one other man.

“I’ve been to places where whole villages have already been made and I’ve been to places like here, where there’s nothing. The magic comes from the world and can differ depending on our needs. I remember this one place where this one girl could control the plants.”

“The plants?” Gavin asks, bewildered.

“Yeah I know.” Geoff nods with wide eyes. “It was crazy, I’d never seen anything like it before.”

“How could she do it?” Gavin’s mind is running a mile a minute. Magic that could control _plants?_ It opened a whole new world for Gavin to explore, a whole realm of possibilities he hadn’t considered, and Jack’s earlier words echo back to him. _Maybe you just need to focus more on what happens._

“No clue, bud. That’s probably where Ryan would be more useful, he’s done a lot of research into it.” Geoff says. Gavin’s eyes seek out Ryan and he’s not surprised to see the other man looking at back at him.

The intensity of the other man's gaze doesn’t feel as invasive as it did earlier, and Gavin offers a shy wave, feeling a bit stupid. Ryan gives a smile and a wave back and Gavin almost wants Ryan to come over here now, questions bubbling on the tip of his tongue, questions that Ryan probably has a lot of the answers to.

The other man is busy trying to get Michael to focus on building their shelter instead of making masks though, so they both turn away from each other and go back to their individual tasks.

Well, Gavin tries to go back to his work, but Geoff dumps a handful of snow down the back of his top a few minutes later. He flinches from it with a shout, Geoff cackling next to him, and they draw in the attention of Jeremy who decides to stick up for Gavin for a change by throwing a snowball in Geoff’s face.

The resulting snow fight is distracting enough that Gavin doesn’t notice the buzzing of his magic calm down and the flurries of snow starting to stop.

* * *

It’s not that Gavin’s avoiding Ryan still, because he’s not, it’s just that he hasn’t been able to bring himself to find the other man.

He’s been _busy_ as well. Very busy. There’s been things to build and mobs to kill and then Jeremy had wanted to build an igloo which was an obvious priority, and then he thought he’d offer to help cook dinner, and before he knew it two days had flown by.

The snow had started to come down thick and heavy and they were lucky they’d decided to build a house when they had.

After that the shelter had been built Gavin had nothing major to distract himself with and his nerves had gotten the better of him.

The thing is that Gavin’s mind is his worst enemy. Left alone it runs rampant with wild theories and ideas like, for example, what if Ryan knew _nothing_ about his magic? What if Gavin was just projecting his own hope onto poor Ryan who was just staring for no reason?

Ryan was clever, _sure_ , and he probably knows way more about magic than Gavin, probably knows all about the different worlds and the science behind them, but would he really know what was wrong with Gavin?

“I think Ryan’s looking for you.” Gavin jumps at Jack’s voice.

“Oh?” he replies airily. He considers staying and listening to Jack for a second, he honestly does, but he pushes the thought aside and jumps up from their sofa, heading straight for the door. “I’ll have to talk to him later. I think Michael needed a hand with something.”

“Gavin.” Jack’s hand grasps his wrist and gently tugs him to a halt. “What’s going on?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Gavin says, refusing to turn around and stare at the older man.

“Is this about your magic? Is it still acting up?”

 _Yes_. “No.”

“Have you spoken to Ryan about it? You realise he probably has the answers you’re looking for.”

 _No_. “Yes.”

Jack lets out a pained groan. “Gavin,” he chides. “You’re not helping yourself by avoiding him.”

Gavin bristles at that and wants to argue back but he decides it’s better to keep quiet, tightening his lips and shaking Jack off. “I’m not avoiding anybody.” he tells the other man as he opens the door, a cold breeze and specks of snow drifting into the room.

“You’re literally avoiding me right now.” Jack points out, following him out into the cold.

“No I’m not.” Gavin mutters, looking around to try and find a distraction. Michael was probably helping Geoff build rebuild his forest so he starts to head that way, feeling put out when Jack continues to follow him.

“You realise that you’re being childish about all of this, don’t you?” Jack tells him.

Part of Gavin knew that yes, he was being childish, but the bigger, more stubborn part of him refuses to accept this. “I’m not being childish at all.”

Jack sighs but says nothing else, reaching an arm past Gavin to open the door to Geoff's farm for him.

Gavin walks past Jack with a muttered thanks, hopping the fence to the forest and scanning it for Michael. He feels annoyance rise when the other man isn’t in sight and clenches his jaw when he hears the fence gate open, mentally preparing himself to deal with Jack’s worry.

“Gavin.” he tenses at that voice, body twisting around to see Ryan standing awkwardly by the gate, no Jack in sight.

Crap. He feels panic rise up and his magic shudders through him. “Ryan.” he says carefully. “I was just looking for Michael but he’s not here, so. Suppose I’ll just be off.”

“Can we talk first?” Ryan asks, not moving away from his position blocking the gate.

“I’m busy.” Gavin says, forcing a smile onto his face. He carefully avoids looking Ryan in the eye, not wanting to see the other man's expression.

The thought of seeing hurt flash across the elder man’s face makes something guilty twist in Gavin’s stomach but he stomps down on that feeling quickly. It’s not his fault he’s been too busy to talk to Ryan _(listen to Ryan, to let Ryan tell him the truth, the truth which could be that Gavin is dying or his magic is out of control and they need to get him off this world before it’s too late, before everything is destroyed-)_

“Your magic.” Ryan starts, taking a careful step towards him. “It’s been acting up, right?”

Gavin tenses when the other man takes another step, mirroring the action by backing up one. “I don’t know.” Gavin says, voice begging Ryan to drop it.

He’s been dreaming (having nightmares) about this scenario for days. At this point a big part of him would rather just remain ignorant to the answer then finally hear it. There’s no way that Ryan’s not going to tell him though, so Gavin’s body does the next best thing to escaping: it panics.

He knew the second he felt his magic scutter across his body for no reason that something was wrong with it (wrong with him) and he knew that he should’ve kept his stupid mouth shut. Instead he had to say something and make it into a bigger deal then it was, make it into a _thing_ like the complete and utter idiot he is.

“It’s okay.” Ryan’s in front of him now, face scrunched in concern. “Hey, c’mon Gav it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” Gavin spits out, gasping for breath.

“It is.” Ryan insists, reaching out to hold Gavin’s hand. His hand is cold against Gavin’s own clammy one, but Gavin holds it tightly, seeking comfort despite every part of him wanting to run away.

“Elemental magic.” Ryan hurries to say. “Aristotelian elements being controlled by magic, usually when strong emotions are felt.”

“What?” Gavin demands breathlessly. He can feel everything crashing down on him at once and it makes him shake for an entirely new reason.

“Elemental magic.” Ryan repeats. “Like the sun shining on you on a cloudy day or the snow falling when you panic. Jeremy was the one to point it out to me but I’m not sure he recognised it for what it was. I assumed you must’ve known what was happening. I didn’t realise you had no idea until Jack mentioned something to me the other day.”

“So I’m okay?” Gavin asks, voice coming out faint and demanding. He feels almost weightless with relief, feels light headed and dumb and so utterly relieved.

“Yeah Gav, you’re fine.” Ryan says gently, squeezing his hand and sliding their fingers together.

Gavin lets out a laugh and slumps forward into Ryan, knocking his forehead into the other man's collarbone and letting himself calm down. It’s barely a minute before he quickly pulls back, holding Ryan at arm’s length and starting at him with wide eyes, excitement rushing through him and blotting out any panic he felt previously. “What do you know about it?”

“Well-” Ryan starts, pausing when Gavin pulls him back into another hug, arms curling tightly around Ryan’s neck and squeezing before pushing him away again.

“You need to tell me everything.” Gavin blurts, happiness swelling in him. He’d waited so long answers, had built it up so much that it feels like a dam within him has broken. He has so many questions and Ryan, lovely lovely Ryan, has so many answers for him.

He feels a tingle of magic wash across him again and he looks around excitedly, letting out a squeal when the sun breaks through the clouds to shine where they’re standing. He pulls Ryan back in for a hug, clinging onto the other man and letting out a loud relieved laugh into his neck.

* * *

**iv. earth**

“Why?” Gavin demands through gritted teeth, a snarl being bit back with a lot of effort.

He can feel his magic responding to his emotions already, a wind starting to stir around them all, clothes and hair being tugged by the harsh gale.

The others seem speechless as well, all of them still crowded around where Ryan had gathered them, Geoff shifting uneasily on his feet. None of them seem sure on how to react and Gavin feels the unnatural urge to bare his teeth.

Gavin doesn’t get angry is the thing, not really. He gets frustrated and he’s been pissed off, sure, but he’s never felt so angry and betrayed by anything in his life.

Ryan doesn’t even look apologetic, instead having the audacity to have a flickering of hurt creep across his face.

How dare he take everything Gavin’s been working on for weeks, months, (something he’s dedicated his being and magic to doing) and make it unnecessary and redundant in a few simple steps.

And then to look at Gavin as if he’s the one who's done something wrong.

“Why the bloody hell have you done that Ryan?” Gavin demands.

Ryan shuffles his feet, massive stupid sheet still pooled behind him, cast in a shadow by the big horrible machine he’s built.

_”It’s a generator.” Ryan had said proudly, looking around for their approval._

_“It’s... big.” Geoff had said, scratching at his head. “Big and, uh, shiny. What is a generator exactly?”_

_“It’s a power source.” Ryan had said, one hand still grasping the oversized sheet he’d just ripped off the machine._

_“A what?” Gavin had demanded, confused. “Ryan, we already have my solar making power. You know this, Ryan.”_

_“This is better.” Ryan said with a big smile. “It can produce at least triple the power that your solar panels can, Gav.”_

“I thought I’d help with the energy problem.” Ryan says slowly, a nervous edge to his voice.

“What energy problem?” Gavin asks incredulously.

“Your panels couldn’t support everything we have,” Ryan holds up a finger, counting the reasons on his hand, and Gavin wonders if this is what hatred feels like. “And they lose power quickly when the sun isn’t out. They’re very breakable, too. They’re delicate. This generator is much more reliable.”

“More reliable?” Gavin spits.

He feels breathless now, not able to believe what he’s hearing nor able to understand _why_ Ryan has done this to him.

“Well. Yeah?” Ryan says it in a way that suggests that Gavin’s being a bit slow, that Gavin should be the one to understand how amazing Ryan’s work is, to accept how much better Ryan is then him.

Something in him snaps.

The feeling of magic clogging up his every pore is overwhelming, and he staggers where he stands, the anger and hurt he’s feeling literally vibrating on his skin, making him shake and gasp.

“Gavin.” That’s Jeremy’s voice, high and scared.

He’s never felt hurt like this before. He thought that Ryan had liked him, that they were friends, and he can’t understand why the other man has gone and made months’ worth of Gavin’s work look stupid and childish in comparison to his own. Months’ worth of Gavin’s work has been outdone by something that only took Ryan just a few weeks to complete.

Part of him feels like crying but he knows that it would make him look pathetic and he doesn’t want to give Ryan the satisfaction of it, so instead he focuses on the more dominant emotion of anger.

“Gavin stop. Listen to me.” That’s Jack, voice low and soothing, as if Gavin’s a skittish rabbit.

He can’t focus on it though, choking on his own emotions and the pure, undiluted magic coursing through him.

Why had Ryan built his generator, something so big and tall and ugly, right next to where Gavin’s solar panels lay? Was it some sort of weird power trip? Some weird side quest for him to prove that he was better than Gavin ever could be?

“Ryan what the _fuck_? You knew- no, you fucking know that power is Gavin’s fucking thing.” Michael sounds just as angry as Gavin and it spurs his magic on. He can’t think through the feeling of his heart beating in his throat and his blood pounding in his fingertips.

Gavin isn’t one to get really, truly angry. He doesn’t think it’s happened before, and he isn’t sure he wants it to happen again. It’s such a strong emotion, something dark and constricting that his magic latches onto it and everything around him seems so fast and loud and-

He blinks through the haze to see his vision shaking, no - to feel the way the world is shaking and tilting around him. The drying racks have fallen off the walls and somehow Gavin is on his hands and knees.

His gaze latches onto Ryan first and Gavin feels surprised to see him look scared. Ryan has been many things, but Gavin has never seen him afraid before.

The older man has fallen to the floor, hands clenched into fists on top of the wood, and he’s mouthing words that Gavin can’t hear over the sound of crumbling earth and splintering wood.

A hand touches his arm and it _burns_ , the warmth of it pressing down onto his over sensitised skin and stopping the magic from falling out, and Gavin lets out a pained wail, eyes flickering shut and head dropping forward.

The hand is snatched back, and Gavin’s mind goes fuzzy.

When he focuses again, seconds (maybe minutes, maybe more) later he sees Ryan in front of him now instead of twelve blocks away.

“Gavin.” He pleads, voice high and raw. “Gavin it’s okay. I’m sorry, yeah? Let’s just - Let’s just breathe, c’mon Gav.”

Despite all the anger he feels, the hurt he feels, Gavin loves Ryan with everything he has. Ryan was the first one to actually listen to him, to see past everything and understand his potential, and Gavin had looked up to the older man since he met him.

Ryan, stupid clever Ryan, who can build computers from nothing but can’t manage to say steady sentences. Ryan, who had been able to see the way his magic interacted with the elements and had looked at Gavin in wonder. Ryan, who gives him smiles and unlimited understanding, and who is now crouched in front of him on a shaking platform, still trying to be understanding about the magic consuming him and their world.

Because it is, Gavin realises. His magic is causing the ground to shake and the things around them are splintering and cracking.

He closes his eyes and focuses on his magic, on the way it pours out of him, and tries to force it back into his body.

“Good boy. C’mon, it’s okay.” Ryan says, eye’s big and blue and _patient_ , waiting for Gavin to calm down.

He sucks in a gasp when he manages to grasp his magic and pull, forcing it back into his skin, into his body, and the sensation of it is burning, is overwhelming, and he can feel tears gather in his eyes.

Ryan doesn’t hesitate before reaching out to place a gentle hand over his own, ignoring Jacks panicked _Ryan don’t._

Gavin expects it to hurt like when somebody had grabbed him before, expects his magic to collate in that one area and burn. The pain doesn’t come like Gavin’s expecting and instead a soothing feeling washes up his arm.

He blinks his eyes open stares down at where Ryan’s hand grips his own, fingers splaying onto his wrist. Ryan’s veins glow gold, the shimmering colour climbing up like tendrils across his skin, and the magic inside of Gavin flows freely into the other man.

“That’s it.” he encourages gently, helping Gavin by absorbing some of the power. “It’s okay.”

They sit there in silence, Ryan slowly talking to Gavin, calming him down and when it’s over, magic depleted and chest empty, Gavin feels exhausted, stupid, and hurt.

“I really am sorry.” Ryan says in a voice Gavin has never heard before. Something soft and regretful, something almost like pleading.

Gavin believes him.

* * *

**v. water**

When Geoff leaves it rains for two weeks straight.

It causes chaos, the loss of Geoff's help and the constant downpour putting a halt to a lot of their projects.

Their power goes down for two days, his solar panels not working without the sun and Ryan's generator breaking in the midst of a storm.

They also run low on materials, Jack's essence flowers becoming flooded and water logged and unable to produce what they need. Michael had shouted at him for twenty-three minutes straight when Jack had informed them of this, face growing red and body coiled tightly, before storming out of the lad den and threatening to not come back until Gavin snaps himself out of it.

Gavin can't bring himself to care. He can’t just snap out of this.

He's grown attached to Geoff in a way he'd never expected, attached to all the others in a way that’s alarming, and the loss of Geoff feels like a missing limb.

It's sort of like the world's been tipped on its axis and Gavin wonders how the others can go about doing day to day tasks when a vital part of them is missing.

The worst thing about it all is that Gavin doesn't understand why the other man had just upped and left without a word.

Why had he gone in the first place?

Why didn't he trust Gavin enough to tell him where he was going?

Why didn't he offer to take Gavin with him?

Was it something Gavin had done?

His thoughts were tiring and so was the constant crackle of magic across his skin. It wasn't like Gavin was consciously affecting the weather, he didn't have any control of how his magic interacted with the elements, but it didn't mean that it wasn't strenuous for his magic to be constantly buzzing for weeks on end.

It wasn’t like the short sharp bursts of power he’d grown used to nor was it the pleasant humming that occurred when the sun shone for him. It was different, a more constant thrum that didn’t seem to end, and it left him feeling sick.

In a way it reminds him a bit of how he felt the first time his magic had twisted the air to his emotions, exhausted and shaky, but this time there's no Geoff to make sure he's okay because Geoff is _gone._

The rain gets heavier at that thought and Gavin shudders from how cold it is.

His clothes are soaked and clinging to him heavily, his hair plastered to his head, and mud is staining his trousers where he sits slumped against the wall in Geoff’s farm. He pulls his scarf tighter around his face in a pathetic attempt to warm himself up but all he gets in return is wet cloth clinging to his face and the smell of damp invading his nostrils.

A loud chirp comes from besides him and he twists his head to look at a green chicken. Its beady eyes feel judgmental and Gavin glares at it.

“Don't look at me like that.” he mutters, slouching down further against the wall. “You're just as lost without him as me.”

The chicken gives a chittering squawk that Gavin refuses to believe is a laugh.

“You are.” Gavin tells it, voice harsh. “You have no idea what to do with yourself now, do you? None of us care about you like Geoff did.”

Green feathers ruffle and the chicken turns its head away from Gavin.

“That's what I thought.” his teeth start to chatter slightly and a breeze flutters around them.

“This is ridiculous.” a voice from informs him. It startles Gavin, making him jump and slam his head a bit too hard against the wall behind him. He squints up at the figure hovering in front of him and can see Ryan’s unimpressed face staring down at him through the rain.

Gavin reaches a hand up to the rub the back of his head and turns his gaze back down to the floor. He doesn't need Ryan or anyone else telling him how stupid he's being.

It's not stupid to miss Geoff.

Ryan’s heavy boots squelch into the mud as he lands and Gavin watches through his lashes as he squats down, trying to make Gavin meet his eyes.

He'd ignore Ryan completely, but he feels guilty for the constant downpour, so settles for staring at his armour covered shoulder instead.

“Gavin.” Ryan sounds very frustrated. “This is getting ridiculous. The rain,” Gavin knows where this is going. “Is causing havoc. Not only are we one man down but you've stopped helping us as well.”

He’s not too sure what Ryan expects him to say. Things still aren't quite okay between them, their interactions a weird mix of desperate and strained, and no matter how much they pretend it still feels awkward.

He doesn't want to hear complaints from Ryan of all people, especially today. Gavin knows he’s messing everything up, but he hasn't got a clue about how to stop his magic from taking over.

“I’m worried about you.” Ryan’s fingers are cold on his face as he tilts it up to look him in the eye. “You’re running yourself into the ground, Gav.”

Ryan’s eyes are very blue, standing out against the paleness of his face.

“I’m sorry.” Gavin tells him.

“You don’t need to apologise.” Ryan says gently. “I can ignore the rain, I can help fix the things that are breaking, but I have no idea how to help you. What can I do to make you feel better?”

Gavin presses his lips together, not sure how to begin to explain that Geoff must’ve taken a part of Gavin with him when he upped and left in the middle of the night.

Ryan seems to know anyway.

“If I find Geoff, will that make you feel better?” Ryan asks seriously.

Gavin lets out a humourless laugh. “Sure.” he agrees. “If you think you can go find Geoff then be my guest.”

* * *

That night at dinner there’s no sign of Ryan. When they search for him Jeremy finds that his dragon is also gone.

There’s a note left on top of his bed, Gavin discovers.

_Will be back soon with Geoff. Look after each other._

_Ryan x_

* * *

“I'm going to after them.” Michael has a bag on his shoulders and a thick obsidian sword in his hand. His face is set in stubborn determinedness and Gavin shuts his eyes to block it out.

It's been four days since Ryan left to find Geoff.

If Gavin thought the world was off kilter with just Geoff gone then he can't even begin to explain what it's like with Ryan missing as well.

Michael seems intent on disappearing too, has been since he found out Ryan left. It's been a tense few days of arguments, storms and a constant static crackling across his skin.

“Michael.” Jack sounds worn down. He's been fighting Michael on leaving, wanting to everybody else to stay at the base (at their _home_ ), whilst trying to stay on top of jobs, trying to keep the moral high, and trying to make sure Gavin doesn't do something stupid like collapse and drown himself in a puddle. “I'm not having this argument again.”

“You literally can't fucking stop me.” Michael snaps. Gavin twitches at the tone, eyes screwing up tighter, and thunder echoes outside the room.

Jeremy's hand squeezes his shoulder before continuing to rub in soothing circles, both of them sitting pressed together on the sofa.

“I need you here, Michael.” Jack stresses. “I can’t have all of you gallivanting off into the middle of nowhere.”

“You’re treating me like a child.” Michael says. “How come Ryan can go looking for Geoff but I can’t?”

“Ryan is a fucking idiot and I’ll be telling him that when he gets back. We can’t all just up and leave, this place will fall through if nobody helps out, and then we’ll all have nothing. Do you understand that?” Jack’s words are harsh and true, and Gavin feels his stomach drop at the thought of them losing everything, at the thought of him losing everyone. “If we can’t make this world work then we won’t be allowed to keep it.”

It’s something they’ve always been aware of, a bit of knowledge everyone possess. If they can’t function in the world they’re given, then it’ll be lost to the skies. They’ll all be dragged apart and spat into different ends of the universe. Gavin’s already lived through one world falling through and he’s not sure he can do it again, isn’t sure how some the others have done it countless of times.

Before he landed here, the worst part for Gavin was the waiting.

An endless expanse of time being surrounded by the stars and nothing else (nobody else). The feeling of helplessness, of loss, and waiting, begging, praying, for anything to happen.

It’ll be worse this time, Gavin knows. It’s rare to find people you get on with so well and they’ve developed a family of sorts here. He’s grown too attached to everyone and it’ll tear him apart if he’ll never see them again.

Part of him doubts he’ll make it through the waiting part this time. Part of him thinks that he may not even make it to when the world falls apart. His magic won’t stop running and it’s draining him of everything, spiralling his moods and ruining their environment.

“Nothing is gonna happen. I’ll go, and I’ll find them and then I’ll drag them both back here for you.” Michael argues.

“I’m sorry but I can’t chance it, Michael. I need you to be here.” Jack does sound apologetic, Gavin thinks. He’s not sure Michael will appreciate it.

“Ryan will bring Geoff back.” Jeremy says, tone forcibly bright.

A bang makes Gavin snap his eyes open. Michael's sword is lying on the floor and his bag thuds down heavily when he tosses it in a corner. “Fine.” he says in a flat voice. “I won’t leave.”

He doesn’t stay in the room though, spinning around and leaving before Jack can say anything.

Magic sparks, leaving dots dancing in front of Gavin’s eyes, as lightning flashes outside.

Jack runs a frustrated hand through his hair and turns to stare down at them. His expression gets more pinched when it lands on Gavin and he quickly diverts his gaze over to Jeremy. “Will you look after him? I need to go and try to sort out the essence field.”

“Of course I will.” Jeremy agrees readily, as if he hasn’t already dedicated half his time to trying to cheer Gavin up. He curls his arm tighter around Gavin's waist and squeezes.

“Thanks.” Jack says before leaving as well.

“I don’t need looking after.” Gavin says tiredly. “You can go do something useful instead of just sitting here if you want.”

“I’d rather hang about with you.” Jeremy moves his arm up to Gavin's shoulders and tugs him into his body. “We can watch TV. Or play on the Wii if you fancied?”

Gavin shakes his head no before laying it on Jeremy’s chest. “Just TV sounds good.”

 _I’m too tired to anything else_ echoes in the room.

“Cool then.” Jeremy says, voice still forcibly bright, forcibly calm. “TV it is.”

Gavin doesn’t last fifteen minutes before he finds himself falling asleep, bones heavy and mind murky.

He’s aware of Michael coming in to join them at some point, the smell of rain and flowers making his nose twitch and the feeling of cold hands manoeuvring his legs waking him up slightly. He keeps his eyes shut as Michael settles down onto the coach, placing Gavin’s feet over his lap.

“Thank you for not going.” Jeremy says as Gavin dozes, hand warm as it cards through his hair.

“It’s fine.” Michael sighs. “I didn’t want to leave, not really. I’m just worried.”

“About Geoff and Ryan?” Jeremy asks.

“Yeah, and about you guys here.” Michaels hand squeezes Gavin’s ankle. “Gav’s a fucking mess, Jack’s going crazy trying to keep up on jobs, and you’re trying your best to help whilst looking after them both. I feel a bit useless sitting here doing nothing.”

“You’re not useless.” Gavin hears Jeremy say. “I don’t think you realise just how much you help us all by sticking around.”

Michael hums, hands finally starting to warm up on Gavin’s skin. “I guess.”

* * *

Gavin hears the other three whispering about him when they think he's asleep.

Sometimes Gavin thinks that maybe he _is_ still asleep, that this might all be a dream, a nightmare, and he'll wake up to Geoff telling him he's lazy whilst Ryan attempts to cook breakfast.

He knows that he's most likely awake because of how terrible he feels. His lungs are weighted, and breathing makes them ache. He finds himself coughing wetly into the pillow under his head a lot of the time, the pressure in his chest never fading.

“You're saying there's nothing we can do to help him?” Jeremy says from outside the door to the bedroom.

“No. It's nothing that can be cured by us, it's his magic that's hurting him.” Jack's muffled voice replies.

Gavin thinks Jeremy says something else but he's not too sure, eyes heavy and thoughts syrupy, and when he blinks his eyes open it's to Jack sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“Hi Gav.” Jack reaches forward to fuss with Gavin’s hair. “How are you feeling?”

 _Terrible._ “I'm feeling better.”

Jack gives a small smile, eyes sad. “Well that's good to hear. Reckon you can stomach some food?”

“Dunno.” Gavin murmurs. “Maybe.”

“Wanna try then? Jeremy made toast.” Jack helps him sit up and, when it’s apparent he isn’t going to move any further by himself, helps him stand. By the time Gavin’s sitting on the sofa in the other room he’s worryingly winded and Jeremy’s fluttering around him nervously.

“Are you sure he should be out of bed?” he asks Jack, hands smoothing Gavin’s fringe away from his hot forehead. “Isn’t it better for him to rest?”

“He needs to stretch his legs.” Jack tuts. “He’ll get stir crazy cooped up in the bedroom.”

“Maybe.” Jeremy agrees, sitting down heavily next to him. “Maybe not.”

“Where’s your toast?” Gavin asks in a tired voice, eyelids heavy, trying to distract them from their conversation about his health. “Jack said I have to eat it.”

“Oh shit,” Jeremy curses, jumping up and rushing towards where a burning smell is emanating from the kitchen. “The shitting toast.”

“Jeremy.” Jack follows him in, voice alarmed. “You burnt it?”

“I’m sorry. I forgot that I put the bread in the toaster, I wasn’t going to start it until he was out here.”

“You had one task.” Jack groans. There’s a slamming of cupboards, the clinking of a plate. “One simple task.”

“I’ll make new toast.” Jeremy sounds slightly hysterical. Gavin thinks they all might be. Weeks of rain, confusion and stress have built up to the point where burnt toast is their breaking point. “I’ll make better toast.”

“Don’t bother.” Jack sounds distressed, sounds angry. “Just leave it, okay? I’ll deal with it.”

“No,” Jeremy says stubbornly. “I can help, I can do it.”

“What’s happening?” Michael asks from next to him, voice making Gavin jump.

Michael’s leaning against the arm of the sofa, hair damp and curling from the rain outside, taking in the scene of the kitchen with slightly concerned eyes.

“Jeremy burnt some bread.” Gavin feels a small grin tug at his lips. “Jack seems very upset by it all.”

“Christ.” Michael mutters, letting out a small laugh. “We’re all losing our heads, aren’t we?”

“Seems that way.” Gavin agrees, sinking more heavily into the cushions behind him. “I’m not even that hungry but I don’t wanna upset them even more.”

“Probably best to just eat the toast.” Michael agrees. “It’ll make them both feel better.”

Gavin hums in agreement, settling his head down on Michael’s thigh as he watches Jack and Jeremy scurry around the kitchen. They end up making him a new batch of toast, smothering it in butter and presenting it to him on a fresh plate.

He feels slightly uncomfortable eating with everyone watching him, but he forces the toast down nonetheless, noting how it makes Jeremy and Jack calm down some. He doesn’t mention how the toast burns his throat, how it sits heavily in his stomach, and it’s Michael who helps hold him up as he throws it back up into the toilet later.

* * *

“Am I dying?” Gavin asks Jeremy the next day. They’re curled up together on Ryan’s bed, the smell of smoke and cedarwood helping soothe Gavin’s mind and calm his magic somewhat, his skin now only feeling like he has pins and needles. He’d woken up shaking, convinced his skin was crawling, clawing at his arms to try and keep it from moving. “Is this dying?”

“You’re not dying.” Jeremy tuts, arm heavy on Gavin’s shoulders and helping to ground him. They’re watching the rain outside through the window, the sky impossibly dark and the rivulets of water on the glass pane distorting the image of it. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Okay.” Gavin doesn’t believe the words. His magic is draining him of everything, bones more prominent than ever and head pounding constantly. He’s getting worse, he knows, but he can’t snap himself out of the slump he’s found himself in.

His episode this morning had been the second one in the past twelve hours. Michael had slept wrapped around him like a koala last night after being woken up by Gavin’s panicking. Gavin hadn’t meant to panic so much, to drive himself into near hysterics, but his hands had gone numb and it had felt as if they weren’t there. To his fevered mind it had been _terrifying_.

He’d scared himself to the point where he was convinced that he had actually lost his hands, that his brain was just supplying the image of them to soothe him. He thought that his magic had burnt them up and made them crumble into dust.

It had taken Michael an hour to calm him down, voice soft as he murmured reassurances and hushes into Gavin’s hair. His hands were gentle as they massaged Gavin’s own numb ones, fingers pressing down hard enough that they cramped, that Gavin could feel them cramping.

“You can’t die, anyway.” Jeremy continues, shifting Gavin impossibly closer to his side. “I wanna help you build a solar panel better then Ryan’s generator so that we can shove it in his face.”

“That’d be nice.” It feels more like a dream then anything, Ryan having been gone for over a week now with no sign of returning, but it’s one Gavin’s more than happy to indulge them both in. “It’s got to be so good the vein in his forehead pops.”

“And his jaw juts forward but he doesn’t say what he actually wants to say.” Jeremy continues in amusement. “Instead he’ll give us a really fake compliment.”

“Ten points for him telling us we’re better than him in a condescending tone.”

“Oh! Ten points for him smiling sweetly whilst his eyes promise us a long and painful death.”

Gavin snorts at that, struggling to keep his eyelids open as he blinks.

“You’re on.” he yawns, words slurring together slightly.

“You’re tired still?” Jeremy tries his best not to sound overly concerned. “You’ve only just woken up, lazy bones.”

“M’not lazy.” Gavin defends, letting his eyes slip shut. “I jus’ don’t feel well.”

“Yeah.” Jeremy says quietly. “I know you don’t, Gavvy.”

* * *

Gavin finds himself sleeping more than anything. His bones ache and his mind feels heavy and clouded, making it difficult for him to think. When he’s awake it’s exhausting and painful, and he finds that it’s easier for him to just fall back asleep. Sleeping allows him to ignore the skittering of magic across his skin, allows him to ignore the nausea in his empty stomach, the pressure on his chest.

When he’s half-conscious he hears the others talking sometimes, but he can’t make out their words anymore. He hears the impression of their voices, faint and distant, and feels their hands on his forehead or tangled up with his own.

He dreams of dark skies and an endless fall, of Geoff sitting high up in the clouds as he watches all them dropping through time like bags of sand. He dreams of deep pools and Ryan swimming away from him, leaving Gavin to drown by himself, the water filling his lungs and choking him.

He has a lot of dreams about choking, about drowning or becoming allergic to the air around him, and wakes up gasping, a worried face hovering over him and a hand slapping his back, trying to jar the air back into him.

“You’re alright.” Jack’s voice seems to vibrate into his head, making him shake and shiver. “Hey Gav, are you with me? You’re okay, c’mon, breathe.”

Gavin tries to breathe but his lungs hurt, and his throat feels blocked, almost as if there’s something physically constricting his airway, and he can’t seem to inhale anything.

“Breathe.” Jack repeats, voice growing more panicked. “You gotta breathe Gav.”

He can’t though. Gavin literally can’t breathe, can’t do anything but gasp as his arms go cold and spots start to dance in front of his eyes.

He feels weird suddenly, as if he’s swept away from his body but still aware of everything, sounds growing muffled and distant but not disappearing. He tries to focus on something, anything, but there’s white noise ringing in his ears and his vision is blurry. The only positive in all of this is that he stops feeling the twisting of magic in him as he floats, and for a second he’s relieved.

For a second Gavin feels like he can breathe, feels as if his muscles can untense and he can finally think clearly.

Then he’s jolted back into his body and is reminded of the fact that Geoff left, that Ryan left, that they’ve been gone for hours, for days, and might not even be alive out there.

He sucks air into his burning lungs as his body trembles and eyes water. It hurts, he hurts, and Jack’s voice, no matter how gentle, makes his head throb.

“You’re okay.” Jack is saying, his hands glowing gold as they lay above Gavin’s heaving chest. “That’s it.”

Jack’s magic flutters over him and Gavin feels like it should make him overwhelmed, that the extra magic should hurt him, but he doesn’t find it anything but soothing.

After Gavin finally catches his breath he rolls his head to the side lazily, staring at Jack’s tired face. “Thank you.” his voice comes out raspy and speaking makes his throat hurt, but the relief on Jack’s face is worth the pain.

“It’s okay.” Jack lets his hands settle over Gavin’s chest, warm and heavy. They don’t say anything for a few minutes, both of them listening as Gavin’s breathing calms down into something more normal. Then, voice hesitant, Jack says, “Your episodes are getting worse.”

“Yeah.” Gavin agrees. He’s not sure what else to say on the subject, not sure if there is even anything left to say. The episodes _are_ getting worse and all of them are stupid to think that it’s going to get better on its own. “They are.”

“I wish you could just turn your magic off. I wish I could help you stop thinking about it.” Jack sighs, eyes sad and hurt. Gavin knows he doesn’t mean it nastily. Jack, out of all of them, is the person who can read Gavin the easiest, the person to know what Gavin’s feeling without him having to voice it.

Jack knows that Gavin won’t stop worrying about Geoff and Ryan, regardless of how much effort Michael and Jeremy put in to trying to distract him from their absence. He knows that Gavin can’t turn off his feelings, can’t dampen them at command, and he doesn’t expect Gavin to do so.

If his magic wasn’t intertwined with his emotions, then Geoff and Ryan leaving wouldn’t have even been such a big issue. Gavin would’ve moped around for a while before throwing himself into a project to distract himself. There wouldn’t be an endless downpour outside and Jeremy would’ve been able to give him a few simple jobs to do, maybe.

Gavin’s magic is tied to his emotions, though, the two things tangled and intertwined like tree roots.

* * *

“Gavin.” Geoff’s voice sounds muffled. “Gavin, hey. Buddy. Wake up.”

“He’s sick.” Jack’s voice rings from behind him. Gavin feels as if he’s in some sort of bubble, everything outside of him feeling distant and blurred. “You leaving made him sick.”

“I didn’t think he’d do this to himself.” Geoff snaps back, voice defensive. “I wouldn’t have left if I knew this would happen.”

“You did leave, though.” That’s Jeremy, Jeremy who’s been so sweet to Gavin, so kind, and who sounds so angry, so different. “You left without a word, Geoff.”

“I didn’t think-”

“Exactly.” Jack presses. “You didn’t fucking _think_ for one second what consequences it’d have.”

“I was always gonna come back!” Geoff shifts, the sound jarring and loud to Gavin’s ears. “I just needed some time.”

“Time for what?” Jeremy asks incredulously.

“Time to think.”

“To think.” Jack repeats in a flat voice.

“Yes. I need my own space.” Geoff’s hand is gentle as it grasps Gavin’s own, touch warm and grounding.

It helps Gavin burst the bubble he’s in, everything suddenly louder and brighter than before. He can hear Jack arguing back, voice angry and dark, but Gavin focuses on the feeling of Geoff’s hand in his own.

Geoff’s hands are dry and warm, and Gavin can smell the familiar scent of earth and grass coming from him.

“Geoff?” He croaks confusedly, eyes fluttering open. The other man sits next to his bed, eye’s tired and hair dishevelled.

“Gav,” Geoff breathes, all his attention instantly directed at Gavin. He squeezes their hands together and crowds closer to the bed. “Hiya Gav.”

“Hiya.” Gavin repeats, throat dry and eyes stinging from the light of the room. “You came back?”

“Of course I came back.” Geoff presses a light, fleeting kiss to the back of Gavin’s hand. “I was always gonna come back.”

“Ryan?” Gavin closes his eyes again, feeling dizzy.

“He found me.” Geoff agrees. “Dragged me right back under threat of killing all my chickens.”

“Good.” Gavin breathes. His chest feels lighter than before, relief flooding him and chasing out any doubts of the both of them being dead somewhere. “That’s good. He’s here?”

“Yeah,” Geoff rests their joined hands against his cheek. “He’s here. Michael’s shouting at him right now. I think he’s saving my turn for when you’re awake, so feel free to pretend to sleep for the next week.”

Now Geoff’s said it Gavin can hear the distant sounds of Michael’s harsh tone, voice loud and angry, and Ryan’s familiar rumbling tone replying to him.

It makes something electric in him calm down and, as if a switch has been flipped, the constant thrumming of magic within him stops. What was once a dull thudding across his skin, a pounding in his head and an ache in his stomach, is now nothing more than an echo of pain, a distant feeling that is overtaken by tiredness, by relief.

He sags into the bed, suddenly more exhausted than ever. “Good.” he repeats, already falling back to sleep. The pounding of rain against the window has stopped, the room now mostly silent.

* * *

Ryan, Gavin learns the next time he wakes up, had travelled thousands of miles to find Geoff.

The other man had taken half their supplies and was on a self-indulgent vacation from _all of their shit_ , one Ryan had forcibly dragged him from to come back to Gavin.

“You really dragged him?” Gavin asks, feeling his cheeks heat up. He’s able to sit up in bed now, still tired but not nearly half as much so as he has been. Both him and Ryan are leaning back against the headboard, steaming cups of tea in hand. “All the way back here?”

“He couldn’t exactly say no when I’d stuck him on my dragon.” Ryan sounds smug. “It was the least I could do for you.”

“You didn’t need to do it for me.” Gavin denies, feeling oddly shy. “I would’ve been fine.”

“Sure.” Ryan snorts. “Fine.”

“It’s true.” Gavin lies. Everybody knows that Gavin was anything but fine with the two of them gone. “I can look after myself.”

“I know you can.” Ryan soothes, knocking their ankles together. “I still would’ve gone to get Geoff, regardless of what you wanted.”

“Thanks?” Gavin asks, unsure whether he should be offended or not.

“You’re welcome.” Ryan shifts slightly, laying his head down on Gavin’s shoulder. “Anything so I don’t have to look after those darn chickens.”

“No,” Gavin says, suddenly feeling anxious. He needs Ryan to understand that he really is thankful, needs the elder to know that he appreciates the notion. He wants them to go back how things were before the generator, missing their easy friendship and Ryan’s endless patience with him. “I really do mean it. Thank you, Ryan, my lovely Ryan.”

Ryan must hear the sincerity behind his words because he relaxes even more, body heavy and warm against Gavin’s side. “You’re welcome.” Ryan murmurs softly, nudging their ankles together again.

* * *

**vi. +i**

Michael doesn’t look annoyed at the light drizzle in the air which Gavin is very (very) thankful for. Instead, the other man looks a little exasperated, mostly adoring. He gives Gavin a knowing grin from where he’s standing opposite him, one hand reaching out to grasp one of Gavin’s own.

They’ve been here for years now and their world has grown and prospered more than any of them could have imagined. Gavin almost can’t believe that everything around him came from one oak tree and a block of dirt.

They’ve achieved and learnt so much, different worlds discovered and long journeys being undertaken. 

They’ve all grown comfortable here. It’s home.

Over the years Gavin’s slowly learnt to control his elemental magic to some extent. It can still be overwhelming and easy to get lost in at times, the rush of magic fuelling his emotions and his emotions fuelling his magic, but he’s learnt to deal with it better. He’s learnt how to stop the flow before it gets too bad.

Everyone else has helped him too, in their own different way.

Jeremy lets him vent and when it gets too much (the magic, the stress of building, the anxiety he feels about their world ending) and it helps soothe Gavin’s emotions. Jack is always there to help distract Gavin by giving him small jobs to do and encouraging him to help somebody else, to do something, anything, but sit there and fret.

Gavin finds himself going to Geoff when he needs to take a step back, the elder man always seeming to know when Gavin needs space but company at the same time, the both of them being able to just exist around each other without any words. Going to Ryan is the opposite of going to Geoff. He goes to Ryan when he needs to be absorbed in something demanding and prominent for a few days. Ryan, sweet and lovely Ryan, is always willing to drop whatever he’s doing to help Gavin, whether that’s by challenging him to a power upgrade or the two of them venturing off to a different world together.

Michael, Gavin finds, is just all round grounding. He’s a constant, a godsend, who helps Gavin when he finds the pull of magic too much to bare. Michael offers small touches and reassuring smiles, always willing to cheer him up, but he also isn’t afraid to shout at Gavin if it comes down to it. If Gavin tries to force himself to feel nothing, if he shuts himself away from them all, or if he becomes too lost in his own head, Michael will be the one to draw him back out of it.

They all let Gavin feel stupid things, allow him to react in whichever way is natural, and none of them ever object to when the weather changes around them.

“I thought you’d be happier.” Michael teases, fingers warm and reassuring where they’re wrapped around his own. _Stop over thinking things, fuckwit_ he doesn’t say, but Gavin hears it all the same. He takes a deep breath, eyes glancing down to where everybody else is gathered and staring up at them. “You’ve not got cold feet now, right?”

Gavin doesn’t have cold feet, just an overactive brain. Overthinking is still Gavin’s worst enemy and it’s hard to hide that fact when the elements around him are so in tune with what he’s feeling.

He takes another breath, shutting his eyes and focusing on his surroundings, trying to shake off his nerves, his doubts.

The sound of tortured moans echo from above them and Ryan’s generator is letting off its loud hum, soothing and familiar. For some reason there’s also a grand piano playing a happy tune off to one side, something Gavin suspects Geoff has charmed to annoy them all.

The air smells faintly of blood and trees but the overpowering scent of the botanical flowers blocks them out, a bouquet of them being gripped too tightly in one of his hands.

He takes another breath, this one steadier, and looks up into Michael’s warm eye’s. The nervous thrumming of magic dims from his skin and the rain follows suit, the light rain coming to a steady stop.

A giddy feeling wells up inside of him as his eyes trace the slope of Michael’s nose and the freckles on his cheeks, the way his eyelashes curl up and make his brown eyes look prettier. Sunbeams break through the clouds and illuminate the spot they’re standing in at the same time a shy, silly smile takes over Gavin’s face.

“Never.” Gavin promises. “Couldn’t get cold feet with you, boi.” Michael lets out a snort and Gavin feels his stupid grin grow, Jack’s _aww_ making the sun's rays shine brighter.

“Well then?” Geoff prompts, his earlier question being lost to Gavin’s nerves. “Do you?”

“I do.” Gavin says, honest and delighted. He feels almost like vibrating out of his skin, something excited and happy spilling out in the form of tingling magic. “I really, really do.

“Well then,” Geoff says proudly. “I now pronounce you husband and husband.”

Gavin squeals and all but throws himself at Michael, arms wrapping tightly around his neck and flowers bashing them both in the face. Michael hugs him back regardless, arms twirling Gavin in a circle, and he presses a small kiss to the side of his head as the sounds of the others cheering fills their ears.

* * *

The following month is the most constant the weather has been since they’d landed here. There’s not a cloud to be spotted in the sky and the sun shines big and round, casting everything in a warm glow from dawn to dusk.

There’s a heavy heat in the air but it doesn’t dry out the crops or cause a drought, despite Jack’s fretting. Instead the plants seem to grow more, thriving in the light, and the green of the grass deepens.

“Keep him this happy forever.” Geoff begs Michael, the three of them sprawled out in the grass of the farm. They’re taking a break from work to sunbathe, a break that may have lasted for two hours already. “This weather is so nice.”

“I’ll try my best.” Michael agrees, twisting his head to give Gavin a soft smile.

“I love you.” Gavin tells him happily, the weight of his wedding ring feeling pleasant on his finger.

“I’ve changed my mind.” Geoff groans. “Stop him being so sappy.”

“What are you slackers doing?” Jeremy asks, dropping down onto the floor next to them. “Aren’t you supposed to be harvesting the chickens for resources?”

“Boring.” Gavin flaps his hand in the air as if to physically wave the idea away. “That’s so boring. We’re getting lovely and tanned instead.”

“I think I’m burning, actually.” Michael says.

“Same.” Geoff agrees. “My face feels tight.”

“That’s just because you’re old, Geoff.” Gavin teases, rolling out the way when Geoff half-heartedly tries to hit him.

“I’ll leave again if you don’t respect me.” Geoff warns. “Be kind to your elders.”

“You would let me visit.” Gavin says confidentially. “I know you missed me as much as I missed you.”

“Sure.” Geoff scoffs. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The sun is heavy in the air, a pleasant breeze drifting over them when a dragon flies overhead. Gavin feels happy in the sunlight, letting his eyes flutter shut as he soaks up the sun, the sound of the others chatting lulling him into a half sleep.

He blinks his eyes open when the ground shakes underneath him, all of them suddenly being cast in shadow. “Hello all.” Ryan says from atop his dragon. “Working hard?”

“Nope!” Geoff snaps, jumping to his feet and almost tripping over Gavin’s legs. “No. No no no! Get that thing,” he jabs a finger in the dragon’s direction. “Out of here.”

“He loves it here.” Ryan defends, sliding down the side of his dragons back and landing on the floor. “He wants to hang out with us all.”

“We’re not hanging out. We’re not hanging out with each other and especially not with a dragon.” Geoff grabs Gavin’s hand and pulls him into a sitting position. “We’re working, aren’t we Gav?”

“I was sunbathing, actually.” Gavin lets Geoff pull him up regardless. “But, if you make it worth my while, I suppose I’ll give you a hand.”

“Worth your while?” Geoff splutters. “The cheek of you. You’ll help me out because I said so.”

Gavin raises an eyebrow at Geoff, trying to hide a grin at the sight of annoyance on the elder’s face.

“I wanna sunbathe too.” Ryan says. “Are we all trying to get as much down time as we can before Jack spots us?”

“Apparently so.” Jeremy sprawls on his back and stretches his arms above his head, reminding Gavin oddly of a cat. “Your dragons causing a bit of shade, though.”

“For the sake of sunbathing I’ll make it leave.” Ryan says solemnly, slapping his dragon on its back leg twice and making the creature spread its wings and take off, strong bursts of air ruffling all their hair and making the the chickens squawk.

“Thank you.” Geoff sniffs after the dragons gone, dropping back to the floor. “For getting your beast away from my poor chickens.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” Ryan stresses. “I did it so that I can sunbathe.”

“Sure.” Geoff snorts. “I won’t be afraid to hurt the next dragon that comes into my farm.”

A hand tugs Gavin back down to the floor as Ryan and Geoff start to bicker and he finds himself sitting in between Jeremy and Michael, both of them taking in the argument with amusement. "My dragon could cook all your chickens in one go." Ryan taunts as he sits down next to Geoff, putting all of them in a circle. "I could have a five day feast with all the cooked chicken he'd leave behind."

“So,” Jeremy interrupts, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bottle of half full moonshine. “Who wants to party?”

“Hell yes.” Michael says, reaching over Gavin to give Jeremy a high five. “I’ll party.”

* * *

“Are you guys fucking kidding me?” Jack demands an hour later as he walks into the farm. “Are you all serious right now?”

They must make quite a scene, Gavin thinks, all of them sprawled out amongst the grass with straw and feathers piled up in front of them as betting chips. The near empty bottle of moonshine lays guiltily in the middle of their betting piles, the rest of them varying stages of drunk around it.

Gavin himself is just a bit beyond tipsy, half sitting in Jeremy’s lap, whilst Geoff still seems mostly sober. The sun is slowly starting to set in the sky and Gavin feels a tiny small bit guilty for being not having completed his list of jobs.

“Jack!” Michael crows happily, apparently feeling no guilt at being caught out. “Come play farm poker with us.”

“Farm poker?” Jack sounds long suffering. “You guys aren’t doing work in favour of playing that stupid game?”

“It’s not _that_ stupid.” Ryan defends. “I’ve improved the rules.”

Jack looks like he wants to argue for a second, eyebrows furrowing together, before he lets out a long sigh and sits on the floor next to Geoff.

“You could’ve have at least invited me up when you had booze left.” Jack says, grabbing a handful of Gavin’s pink and blue chicken feathers.

“Hey,” Gavin pouts. “Steal someone else’s.”

“You’re gonna lose anyway.” Jack teases. “These feathers want to know what winning feels like.”

Gavin snatches some of Michael’s feathers, ignoring the others half-hearted protests, and adds them to his own pile.

“We still have booze.” Jeremy says, voice loud and a bit slurred in Gavin’s ear.

“Not enough for us all.” Gavin observes, watching as Ryan snatches the bottle off the floor and clutches it towards his chest.

“Ah, that’s what you think.” Jeremy shifts his arm from Gavin’s waist to dig in his pocket, pulling out a full bottle of vodka and rolling it into the middle of them all. It comes to a dramatic stop next to a Ryan’s suspiciously tall pile of feathers, Michael and Jack letting out small cheers.

“Christ.” Geoff snorts. “How much booze are you hoarding?”

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” Jeremy returns, curling his arm back around Gavin’s waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder.

“You’ll be here for a long time, though.” Gavin murmurs to him once Ryan starts explaining the new rules to Jack. “Right?”

“Of course.” Jeremy squeezes him tighter. “We’ll be here forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i started writing this in febuary and then my second year at university really kicked in
> 
> i love skyfactory and the new life its seemed to bring the minecraft series everybody say thank you sky factory
> 
> she is un-beta's so all mistakes are mine, sorry! hope you enjoyed xo
> 
> title is from 'in a week' by hozier
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/lumoslirry).
> 
> [tumblr](http://prettytodoroki.tumblr.com).


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